The parenting through the daughter eyes

 Socially we grow up with the idea that our parents are unconditionals. Human beings with limitless love and which they're gonna be by our side in every step that we made, cheering us up, getting us up and pushing us for more. 

Nothing prepare us to the horrible wall of reality when it hits up so hard that we have sequels for years. And here I want to blame to the 90s and their thousands of millions of romantic comedies that hypnotized our mothers to make them believed that everything was that perfect and solved that simple. These glouriuous years grab our mother's head and shaked so bad that when they fell in love, saw the beautiful packaging and not the future potencial (negativly speaking) of whom it was gonna be the father of their child.  Today we meet the twentysomething, the fruit of that love, covered in traumas. From overstressing to immense fear of abandonment, we can play bingo with ourselfs and full the cardboard in less than 3 minutes.

Maybe the heat of the decade -plus some of them probably still under the influence of the 80s hair setting spray- would get the young in their twenties to say: "We have 24, is the best moment to have a kid without thinking in anything more than the desire to it". An here we are, going to therapy because those who want their own family weren't responsible enough to keep it. 

Here I have to attack to the daddys of the room - because casually they are mostly who think can disappear and that the mother takes care of the kid- and tell them that they cannot throw a smoke bomb in the life of a child. Believe me, no matter how hard you try, we keep you in mind for better or for worse. I want to know, with all the sincerity possible, how do you think to leave without remorse? And Im not gonna accept responses like: "the mother is more responsable", "She's gonna take them care better", "Im not ready". Because in their deffense, they had the same age, same knowledge of how to keep alive a creature -beyond a succulent- and the worse part, they HAD TO BE READY. Nobody gave them the option to abandon ship (at least without being judged).

The abandonic fathers block the part of the brain called: "how this is gonna affect the future of my kid?" and with that every sign of empathy and responsibility (emotional and economical), to the point than in the blink of an eye, they have a child with anxiety, fear of be abandon for all the people they love, Impostor syndrome, feeling insufficient and as if that were not enough, those same are the ones who once a month remind them that they must make the maintenance deposit or chase them to fulfill any other legal duty. 

The reality of these kids it's hard to swallow, having to grow up to fast for some things and with an immense fear to not being loved. Nor should we forget that one whom pay the most are mothers (can we blame them for want a family with somebody good looking and that looks like the perfect catch? No). They not only are responsable of they duty as mom, but must also cover the missing front of the father, juggling not to fall into dementia (or poverty). Nor should it be easy to look at your child and see his father's features. It takes a lot of mental toughness and control of the situation not to project onto the small mix of genes.

Currently I feel that we can have a hopeful panorama to the new generations since we talk with more interest about emotional responsibility and the idea of postpone a family formation if there isn't stabily (any kind of). With a little of luck, the future psicologysts slowly gonna have least patients with abandon issues and will arise new and more entertaining problems with the parentsand the life thanks to them