The green light, the racing heart and the dead butterflies

 Sometimes I wonder to myself things that not are actually happening right now to me, but for some reason, they're loud in my brain.

So, what's to be in love?

It's the feelling of inmensity that you have when you're in the city of your dreams? That feeling that you can't explain. You feel so big, I mean, bigger than your body. Like you're 200ft tall and everything arounds you is too small. The feeling of being sourounded by an aura, a light different to other moments and people. Like you're glowing, is that? 

So, what's to be in love?

It's the single tear that you drop when you, I don't know... When you understand that maybe you fall for the right person? That you are with the right person.

So, what's to be in love? Tell me, cause I wanna know.

Is the feeling, I mean, the opposite feeling of when you have a heartbroken and you feel all your bones break, a hole in your chest and everything is so heavy that you can't walk, talk and almost do anything because you're tired of your existence and you're so sad that nothing can makes you happy? Being in love is the opposite of that?   To make it more simple, being in love is to feel that you're actually full and light, an dyou can be freely yourself, walking and talking and laughing just around everybody. That's to be in love?

What's to be in love? Let me ask you, because I wanna know.

I mean, we have so many ideas of what is love, but what's to feeling in love? Yesterday the butterflies in your stomach was a sign or symphtom of being in love and being happy, today is s sympthom of anxiety and tath something isn't right and tomorrow what's gonna be? A sympthom of fear or sadness? Or a sympthom that everything is good? Is not like the red flags and the green flags because you can see them. And you can seein base of your experience, but what about the butterflies? 

What's to be in love? Tell me, cause I wanna know.

We're living in a tradiotional society that in the moment we born, everybody tell us how is to be in love, what you feel when you're in love. You saw it in the movies, in TV shows, in songs. Even they told you what's the color of being in love (the famous green light). They tell you that, you can actually seen if somebody is in love just for the way they look at you (the eyes, Chico, they never lie), how is that? I'm asking because, I'm actually, not sure if I was in love in my life. I mean, I want to believe that in some point of my life, in my teenage years I fell for somebody. 

But, what's to be in love? Tell me, because I wanna know.

I want to be in that moment and say: "Okey, I'm fucking in love!" People have so many ideas of what's to be in love that nobody can tell me WHAT IS completly, simple and clear.

So let me ask you, what's to be in love? 

Is something personal that nobody knows, is a mistery? It exist to be in love, or is just a big idealitation of the person that we love or we like and when that bubble pops, you really understand and see their flaws and scars, and the bad thing and the shit that they have? Maybe if you see all of that and you still in the place, maybe that's love, but I don't know if is to be in love.

So, what's to be in love? Tell me, cause I wanna know.